fear

*this summer I have the privilege of taking an internship course, at OCAD University, that enables me to experience a taste of jewellery design and metalsmithing in a field placement study.  This course has been a wonderful experience but has also raised many challenging questions...what do I really want to do with my life? Where do I see myself in five years? Why do I spend so many hours in the studio?

Over the past few years, these questions have caused me so much anxiety and anguish…I’ve actually come close to transferring programs several times throughout my time here at OCAD University – because there is something so frightening about pursuing a career that does not necessarily have a stable and concrete direction.  But as much as my fear sometimes gets in the way of pursuing my passions for jewellery design and metalsmithing, it has also been this exact freedom of being able to choose the direction of my career that has stopped me from dropping all my courses and transferring schools.  I know that I love what I do and that the satisfaction of being able to design and create objects is what brings me joy and contentment.   I do not have the desire or pursuit to become a famous or well renowned jewellery designer (perhaps this will happen, but I would never want it to be my primary goal).  

My entire life, I’ve always been surrounded by lots of people – from being raised in a large family with three biological sisters and countless foster care siblings, spending my summers as a camp counsellor and most recently spending the past three summers working alongside children and adults with both physical and intellectual disabilities – these experiences have heightened my desire to be an advocate of the potential in every human being.  In many of these relationships, I had the privilege of catching just a small glimpse of the vulnerability that many of these children carry with them… a vulnerability that so often restrains them from chasing after their own passions and desires.  

I find it can be overwhelming to try and understand how we might even begin to empower these children and young adults, but it ultimately comes down to how we choose to live out our lives.  Statistics can dehumanize injustice, but they do not eliminate the problem.  Our habits comprise our character and these habits have the capacity to consume us.  While these issues may be large and my own individual ability to fight injustice might be small, I will not let my inability to do EVERYTHING make me do NOTHING instead of SOMETHING. -Michelle Brock, Hope For The Sold.

Meta Mosaic 2013

eeeeek, so excited and inspired to be a part of and prepare for the 2013 SNAG Conference next Spring!

three hour challenge

In one of my classes this past semester we had the opportunity to participate in a wide variety of in class challenges - whereby we were given a design task at the beginning of class that was to be fulfilled within the three hour time frame of the class.  These challenges were designed to encourage us to think critically as designers and generate innovative ideas that could be constructed within a short time frame.

Our first three hour challenge was to design and construct a ring that could be worn in three different ways - this ring did not have to be made in precious metals, but could embody the use of any material we preferred.  While I was able to complete the challenge within the time frame, in all honesty, I found it quite frustrating.  I tried to scramble through my ideas as quickly as possible, yet found myself distracted by the stress level that was quickly rising in the studio :S It almost reminded me of an OCAD University version of Project Runway (not nearly as intense) but in the sense that people are moving quickly around the room like flies and you're just waiting for an accident to happen... Anyhow, it wasn't really all that bad and as we continued to complete these challenges, you were able to get a feel for how you worked best under stress. 

The following challenge was to create a collection of three or more articles of jewellery that embodied a common theme and used at least three different materials OR three different techniques.  I chose to work with maple, walnut, yarn/thread, and ribbon and utilize the techniques of piercing, embroidery and sewing. I found this project to be a little more enjoyable the second time around!

Modeled by my littlest sister, Natasha Kaldeway

boook love

tangled thoughts in my lack of motivation.

As I expressed in my first post, this blog does not really have any definitive goals, but rather is going to be a place where I will share my heart and my love for art, design and all things beautiful.  I am currently studying jewellery and metalsmithing at the Ontario College of Art and Design University where I have come to enjoy the time consuming processes of the studio - a place by which I spend at least 12-15hrs of my day. I could probably write novels about the adventurous happenings of the jewellery studio, but right now I just need to exhaust my thoughts in writing, as they have become tangled trains of information that often distract me from finding rest and peace in the things that matter most.

Basically.  My motivation is lacking - more specifically in school.  As we're nearing the end of November, all I really want to do is spend time with my family, invest my time in relationships, drink hot chocolate with peppermint tea, make snow angels, bake peanut butter oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, make arts and crafts, reupholster an antique chair I purchased in the summer, learn how to work my camera better, sing Christmas carols, go ice skating and this list could go on. 

But instead, I sit here trying to work through the last chapter of my sociology text in preparation for my final exam this coming Thursday. And yet while I try to focus on studying my mind is filled with the countless studio projects that still need to be completed over the next 13 days.  And then my brain is flooded with thoughts of fear and doubt in my ability to make it through the final studio projects and exams that must be completed.

Oh dear, just so many things going through my mind.  But it'll be okay.  Amongst being overwhelmed in so many ways today, I was encouraged by a kind friend that introduced me to the Rue Royale, an Indie Folk band from the UK that I had the pleasure of listening to while I endured the joys of studying late into the evening.